Paid platinum trophies: 5 PS5 and PS4 games, 4 minute completions, at $3 each

By Lee Brady,
platinum trophies under 3 dollarsThis could be Sony's new mascot.

Trophy hunting on a budget? Well, it might mean playing through some truly dire video games, but for $3 you can get six video games this week for PS4 and PS5 that sport a platinum trophy.

As the saying goes — you get what you pay for. It might completely wreck your TrueTrophy Score, but if you're looking to literally pay for trophies then the good news is the PS4 and PS5 just received a bunch of games that might not compete with the depth and value of a PlayStation Studio title, per se, but might compete with the depth and value of certain machine-poured cups of coffee.

Weben Blocks is Threes without a soul

Weben Blocks is a quick and dirty clone of the popular mobile puzzle game Threes, or more specifically a clone of Threes called 2048. Both games require you to move numbered tiles around a board until you run out of space, getting a higher score for the greater number on the tiles left on the board.

2048 is a game so simple you can run it in Microsoft Excel, so it’s no surprise someone has simply taken that formula, loaded it up with trophies and called it a PlayStation game. You can effectively get the platinum trophy by simply moving the tiles around clockwise in each game mode until the notification goes off, but for $1.49, it’s hard to be too angry about it.

Horse Riding needs no internet connection

Horse Riding - Breakthrough Gaming Arcade is a version of the Google Chrome Dinosaur Game, but instead of playing as a cool dinosaur, you play as a stick figure riding a horse. There’s only one reason anyone would choose a horse over a dinosaur, and that would be if the horse was more relevant to one's religion.

Breakthrough Gaming is a Christian video game developer and the full Horse Riding game features allusions to 'Epistle to the Galatians:' a book within the New Testament. So, if you want these trophies you’re also going to enjoy the pleasure of being exposed to Christian teachings (which is fine), even if on a very granular and esoteric level. If it’s any consolation for those of a different persuasion (which is also fine) — the game only costs 99 cents

Burger Fun rewards the pressing of buttons

Burger Fun features enough graphics and trophies to supposedly warrant $2.99 — the most luxurious of expenses as far as this list goes. It does feature music, button pressing, and a dancing burger, however; which is more than can be said for most of these games. For those who thought PaRappa the Rapper was a little too involving, or expensive, you may just have your solution.

The Jumping Hot Dog carries a high toll

The Jumping Hot Dog TURBO is a downloadable app in which you may press a single button a single time and watch a poorly animated hot dog bounce up and down for as long as you can stand. After 500 bounces, you will receive a platinum trophy. You can then uninstall the game, but can you then uninstall the shame?

The Spidy D is somehow worse than a jumping hot dog

The Spidy D is essentially the exact same paid trophy game as the Jumping Hot Dog, but with less animation, somehow. There is also a disgusting spider to look at — we're out. This game costs $1.49, which might in some way explain why it contains half the animation and effort of that hot dog game we once spoke about, but perhaps we’re being a little too charitable.

Has this list enticed you to spend potentially a grand total of $9.95 on at least five platinum trophies? Frankly, in my opinion, it’s a tragedy for our community that such ‘games’ exist with platinum trophies, let alone on the PlayStation Store at all. It’s a real problem that Sony lets these games get onto the store seemingly unchecked, even if we do get our fun burger images and bouncing hot dogs. Perhaps you feel otherwise — in which case, let us know in the comments below!
Lee Brady
Written by Lee Brady
Staff Writer Lee keeps one eye on the future (Shadow x Sonic Generations), one eye on the past (PS Plus Premium games), and his secret third eye on junk he really likes (Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts games). Then he uses his big mouth to blurt out long-winded opinions about video games.
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