AtsumaKarin496,037 (328,035)England

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AtsumaKarin's Blog (16 followers)

PermalinkWhen people don't understand your gaming hobby...
So I had this happen to me today and I reckon many of you could probably relate.

After work, I decided to use my Christmas money that I hadn't spent up to now to spend it on some credit for PSN at my workplace.

Some of my colleagues were present (besides the one who served me of course :P) and they were all too eager to tell me what a waste of money it was.

"You could put it in a savings account" "You could buy new trainers" "You could do *insert random thing here* with it." Safe to say I was rather puzzled about the attitude towards this (they clearly weren't joking).

Obviously it goes without saying that none of them are gamers and I don't expect them to fully understand it but when it goes to the extent of being pretty much judgemental about it, I have to wonder why, really?

What *isn't* a waste of money? Food, drink, household bills, arguably things like internet and car fuel/insurance etc. even though you don't literally need them but beyond that, IDK?

Some people decide to spend their money on going out boozing every Friday night (or even almost every night). Fine if you want to do that (I never could get into the whole partying thing much as I tried in my late teens) but how is that any less (or more) of a waste of money?

Some would say: "oh but you meet people and socialise". Well, if you go to a pub or bar, possibly but try talking to people in a nightclub and see how far you get! laugh

Some would probably argue you have some good memories from those times and I'm sure you do...assuming you don't have some other random arsehole who's drunk as well smash your head with a beer bottle because they think you're coming onto their partner or something like that.

How does this differ from gaming exactly? I can talk to people online if I want (and indeed speak to many of you awesome people on this site) toast and I have some really good memories of the many games I've played in the 3 decades I've been on this planet (sounds better than 30 years) laugh

Equally, I could meet a random troll or play a game that's not as good and have just as bad a memory of that. See what I mean? No different in principle as far as I'm concerned!

Some people collect stamps or cards, I don't do that and don't particularly understand it (at least stamps, used to collect Pokemon cards as a kid) but so bloody what? They enjoy it, that's all that counts!

Same with people (and I *really* don't get this) who follow every last shred of celebrity news and read all the gossip mags. I can't imagine anything more banal than that but honestly, who cares, really?

I think most of us do have our own thoughts on a lot of things and them being a waste of time and that's perfectly normal, the problem, to me, comes when you start openly casting judgement on people imo.

I know they don't mean any harm to me by it and this isn't meant as a dig at them per se, just something that got me thinking. smile

It's probably just as well I haven't told them about my trophy obsession. laugh

They were right about one thing, though. I could use a new pair of trainers. The problem? I HATE clothes shopping, any time I go into a clothes shop with that goal in mind, I'll look at them and think: "that's nice! That's nice! Yeah, that's alright, I suppose!" and then walk out empty-handed! XD

At the end of the day, I'm not spending money I don't have on my hobby and if there are more important things I need to spend it on, then I will do so. I really don't see the problem, personally.

On a side-note, however, I would ideally like to broaden my horizons a bit and do other things besides gaming (as that to be fair *is* more or less all I do besides work, of course) but as some of you know from a previous blog, my track record with people is not the best so that doesn't encourage me to meet them! wink

In any case, I'll wrap it up here. Thanks for reading that ramble if you did! toast

So have you ever had something along these lines happen to you, be it for gaming or any other hobby you may have and what did you think about it? I would love to hear from you in the comments! toast
Posted by AtsumaKarin on 17 May 17 at 12:15 | Last edited on 17 May 17 at 12:18
Slayer1189 I think everyone has encountered the odd moral busybody or judgemental person in their time. I don't mind people being curious but some people enter strict parent mode! laugh

I absolutely agree with you about how someone spends their money. Either nothing is a waste of money or everything is. Not only that but no-one can decide what a waste of someone else's money is. Same goes with time

Obviously I have things that I would consider a waste of MY time or money but the key word there is "MY". What other people choose to do is none of my concern :P

The odd time I have had people quiz me on gaming as a hobby but not too often. Actually what I usually get the most confused questions and befuddled looks from are things to do with how I live my general life. I'll give an example list below;

1) That I don't 'value' the things in life I am 'supposed' to value.

Essentially people find it odd that I don't seek a family unit, a good career, a nice home, Social situations etc. I get questions like "Why don't you want to expand your business/get a real job/work harder/have children/settle down/grow up/take life more seriously blah blah blah.

2) That I am very minimalist and like to travel

Honestly this one seems to be more curiosity than judgement but I get a lot of funny questions about how I get by without stuff, how I can travel on my own and why I bother travelling if my goal isn't to meet anyone new.

3) That I don't know very much about/care about or do things that other people do

This is where people are like, wait if you don't watch TV, movies, socialise, not interested in politics, religion, gossip, celebrities, Sports, Days at the beach, Shopping, Christmas, no hobbies (outside gaming) THEN WHAT DO YOU DO????

Basically what it all boils down to is that people can't seem to get their head around that I am cool just going through my life, my own way, on my own. They always seem to think I need help or that I can't be alone out of choice laugh

Regarding you saying you want to broaden your horizons but don't have a good track record with people. I wonder if you might be suited to some of the stuff I listed above - then you can get the odd questions too wink

If you don't have a good track record with people but wanna broaden your horizons you could try doing some solo activities. You could travel, walking/cycling/climbing, meditation and anything else you can think of that you can just do alone. toast
Posted by Slayer1189 on 17 May 17 at 17:06
Gizmo_Monkey This is well written and completely agree. People need to move with the times. Why should people put someone's hobby down just because they wouldn't do it.

People like going out, spending on alcohol, smoking etc why would that be better?

I hate people being judgemental. I've learned to just ignore people like this and not be any part of my life to be honest. Family included :)
Posted by Gizmo_Monkey on 17 May 17 at 19:35
Badger2385 Very well written. And yes, unless you have the gaming bug, you don't get it. "Everything's just so expensive" is typically what I hear. Yes, I have every system (except the Switch right now), and yes, I play them all. If people took the time to actually hang with me and watch the game and treat it like the crap TV shows they watch, it's really no different. Just with trophies and sometimes seemingly endless reruns with trophy hunting laugh.

This is also why I knit and crochet. I can watch someone on twitch or hang out with a fellow gamer friend and still be occupied and get something accomplished (or feel like it). I've literally turned it into a complete thing where if I'm not gaming, I can still enjoy games. Hell, I even take knitting to the movies now and have to tell the ticket person it's my knitting, not a picnic.

So now when I tell people to come over and bring something to do while hanging out.......well, I'll leave it to you to guess how many people actually do wink.

Point is, if you don't get it, it's easy to make an effort to try.
Posted by Badger2385 on 17 May 17 at 23:42
AtsumaKarin Thanks for the comments, guys! Glad you all enjoyed reading! toast

Slayer1189: LOL @ strict parent mode, yep, I've had that too quite a bit! laugh

Indeed, no-one can dictate what a waste of time/money is, besides necessities as mentioned earlier. "MY" certainly is the keyword, so long as you're not actually harming anybody or breaking the law, it really doesn't matter! smile

1) I don't think I've ever had anyone say that explicitly but I've often thought that about myself, strangely. That I don't really think like most people do and maybe that's part of my problem. :P

Of course, I don't really care all that much but soul-searching can bring some answers to light if you do want to change your life for the better. Whether you end up acting on that, well, I'm usually too lazy. laugh

If you don't mind me asking, what is your business? smile

2) I don't get that point, tbh. I thought the whole point of travelling was to see new places, not meet new people! wink

If you want to live in a different country, fair enough but it's hardly a prerequisite otherwise. :P

3) This one's kinda a mixed bag for me. I care about a lot of people I know for sure but I don't often care about what they do particularly. I am interested in the sense that I'm interested in them but besides that, usually phase out a bit if the topic is excessively boring. laugh

As for the "I can be alone thing", this part I have problems with. I'm very much a: "Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em" kinda guy. As much as a part of me would love to never see another human being again (so I can avoid the stress if nothing else!) and just live with some dogs, a bigger part of me does yearn for that companionship and appreciation from people. It's so aggravating lol.

Of course, I love many of the awesome people on TT, you're definitely amongst the exceptions! dance

Maybe one day, I'll find the right people to hang out with who just take me for who I am, no BS and don't actively try to screw me over...yeah, we'll see...

As for that last part: yeah, I've thought about some of what you said, even the meditation, actually but I wouldn't want to do that unless I can hover in the air like they do on TV! wink

Would really LOVE to learn a musical instrument again, it's been far too long since I did that. Flute and Piano, preferably, though the Oboe, Harp and a few others also interest me!

Learning a new language would be fun (but hard!) as well. Japanese would obviously be one of the main ones but even just picking up my French/German again (did them up to A Level) wouldn't be too bad. smile
Posted by AtsumaKarin on 18 May 17 at 11:49
AtsumaKarin Gizmo_Monkey: cheers! toast

Indeed! It seems like despite (in theory) living in the most open-minded era in our history, it almost feels like the exact opposite! I guess that's what giving people the power of expression does, people have always had these opinions but with the invention of social media, they now have a platform to say it largely w/o repercussions.

Though when so many people play games now (hasn't it become the biggest grossing entertainment industry of all now???), some people's views on the subject are so archaic.

Same here, I try to ignore them as well. smile

Badger2385: cheers! toast

Indeed, everything is expensive now. You can't even buy a bar of chocolate without being shocked by the price compared to what it was. :(

Indeed! Watching TV and gaming is similar in many ways, the only real difference being that gaming, you have active input, whereas you don't watching TV. I suppose the graphics on games aren't lifelike too (except a few FMV games now) but you get what I mean. wink

LOVE that reruns comment! laugh

Knitting and Crotchet, stereotypically considered a woman's hobby but many men do it and enjoy it so that's fantastic to hear! I don't personally, I have tried to get into it but just find I don't quite have that level of dexterity. :(

That's really useful to be able to do that (multi-tasking). My Mom pretty much does the same thing (knits and watches TV!), though I wish she wouldn't brainwash us all with Create & Craft and Hochanda! laugh

Indeed! I try to at least look at things from another person's viewpoint but of course, being human, it's impossible to like everything or even fully understand it, doesn't mean you can't respect the person concerned, though!
Posted by AtsumaKarin on 18 May 17 at 12:00
Badger2385 Yeah, I find patterns online. Can't stand watching crafting shows. Would never torture anyone with things like that. I was a very active child and my grandma wanted me to stop and sit down so she taught me to crochet and I didn't learn to knit until university. Made a lot of cool shit, but now it's more of a time filler and cutscenes activity (when watching them on reruns)
Posted by Badger2385 on 18 May 17 at 13:05
Slayer1189 1) My business does day trading, consulting & paraplanning. It is also just me, No employees. The reason I chose to do this is because it gives me total freedom which is what I want. I can choose what hours I work, for how long, on what days, plus I can work anywhere in the world providing I have an internet connection (or sometimes even a phone and 4G will do!)

The reason people get confused is because they expect me to want to grow, hire employees, work longer hours with aspirations and career goals but that is the opposite of what I want. I'd rather keep it simple and have flexibility.

2) You agree with me!!! Travelling is all about seeing new places and trying new things toast.

3) Yeah I see where you are coming from with the mixed bag thing. Most people don't like to be alone for long periods of time. I have a small IRL friend group and a couple family members I see a handful of times a year and that does me fine smile. Of Course I also speak to people on TT, you are a good bunch wink

laugh Good luck mastering floating off the ground whilst meditating!

It would be pretty cool to master an instrument or other languages. I have considered playing an instrument but I'm pretty terrible at creative tasks so I think my best fit would be the Theremin (apparently gamers pick this up fast because it uses a similar skill set?)

I also really want to learn Japanese for gaming but at the moment I can only read basic words as like nursery level speaking laugh. If I wasn't so lazy I would dedicate more time to it!
Posted by Slayer1189 on 18 May 17 at 13:21
AtsumaKarin Badger2385: usually, she'll only watch them for the demos or record them and fast forward most of it as she actually can't stand most of the commentary either. Doesn't help me when I come down for food and it's on because there's: "nothing else (worth watching) on" laugh TV over here really is garbage nowadays. :(

Probably the best things I made (by no means good!) were Mario and Luigi hand puppets in textiles class at school, they did look like them, the design part was fine but the actual quality of the product was shoddy at best! laugh

Slayer1189: sounds like a dream job! Hopefully one day, I'll have one that truly fulfils me too.

Yeah, a lot of people would want to do that but then most of them can't cope with all the stress so I don't think your way of doing things is a bad one. smile

You sound surprised that I agree with you lol. :P Indeed, trying new things as well! toast

Yeah, an article I read not too long ago pretty much says you'll be depressed if you don't interact with other people. My experience, I've found I end up *more* depressed due to it in the long run. laugh

We talk on here, we're still having human: "contact" as it were so I think it staves that off somewhat. If you cut yourself off completely, I guess that's where the problems might set in.

I shall post a YouTube video if I master that. wink

Eww! The Theremin, can't stand that thing, sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me! There's a huge bunch of people who will defend it to the hilt from what I can tell, though so don't slag it off or else... :P

Yeah, I think there are a lot of gamers who do but it's not as simple due to it being constructed entirely differently from English. You have to learn from the ground up unlike doing another European language (or most of them, anyway). I'll definitely be getting those: "Learn Japanese" games on Steam at some point, though I daresay I won't really learn all that much from them, will still be interesting!
Posted by AtsumaKarin on 18 May 17 at 20:03
ZeroSeven_X It may have already been said in other comments, but I do think it's strongly related to this notion that gaming is still for kids. It's seen as this big immature time-waster, when in reality, it is just as viable a hobby as reading or watching movies.

With the 70s and 80s kids now in their 30s and 40s, that notion is quickly changing. However, there's certainly still a stigma that gaming has. Just do what you love and enjoy it. People will have their opinions - right or otherwise.

Posted by ZeroSeven_X on 31 May 17 at 20:58
AtsumaKarin Indeed, Chris! Some people need to move forward with the times...having said that, I bet when we're old and grey, we'll be scoffing at youngsters as well! laugh

Hopefully, everyone can come around to that philosophy in the 2nd paragraph one day.
Posted by AtsumaKarin on 01 Jun 17 at 13:58
biff_beefcake Sorry for the late comment, I'd read this blog when you first wrote it and have kind of been thinking about it ever since. It's strange how much judgment people face whenever they include unconventional aspects into their life. It's even weirder that gaming as a hobby is still seen as unconventional, or that people still have a stereotyped perception of who a "gamer" is.

When I started my most recent job, I trained with two others who were starting at the same time as me. While just doing some chatting, breaking the ice and I mentioned that I had a son and without knowing me at all, one of the other trainees offered me a piece of advice regarding him: "don't let him get into gaming". I gently let him know that I couldn't wait to get him into gaming because I was a gamer too and would love to play games together with him one day. He had definitely put his foot in his mouth (and it turns out he was a bit of an arrogant idiot anyway), but why would he think that it's acceptable to rag on gaming as a hobby so nonchalantly if there wasn't already this perception that gaming was a huge waste of time? And what did he think a gamer looked like that he just assumed I wasn't one or that it would be detrimental to my family life if my son became one?

I've never shied away from telling people that I play games in my free time and when I've met others who share the hobby we have some great conversations about it. (Occasionally when I tell people this they look at me like I just told them that my hobby was trying to saw off my own toes.)

Some people make unconventional choices with how they house themselves, clothe themselves, feed themselves or entertain themselves and there is no shortage of "convention police" who offer up criticisms... err "advice", but really I just think it says more about the person making the judgment than it does about a perfectly happy person who isn't harming anyone and is just carving out their own path in life. :)

p.s. I also loathe clothes shopping, I'd rather have a tooth filled I think. laugh
Posted by biff_beefcake on 14 Jun 17 at 16:57
AtsumaKarin biff_beefcake: likewise, sorry for the late reply to you, Cynthia! The lack of a PC is becoming annoying, safe to say! Should have one ordered this weekend, though, with any luck!

Yeah, you'd think in 2017 that people might've gotten over such small-mindedness, if only publicly. No reason to disrespect anyone for such a minor thing, really.

Really bad of that guy to just outright say that to you indeed. It's bad enough he thinks he has the right to tell you how you should raise your child in the first place, let alone being so narrow-minded about that. So it's any better (or worse) to let his children (if he has any) watch TV a lot? Unbelievable, really!

So he said that *before* he knew you were a gamer too? Seems a bit random just to bring that up, doesn't it? I wouldn't want to associate with people like that.

I will admit, I do worry about sharing it in some ways, esp. if it came to dating. Then again, if you can't be totally comfortable with who you are with a prospective mate, then it probably wouldn't work out anyway, I suppose.

Indeed, it's amazing to share something you love with your kids, regardless of what it is (as long as it's not illegal or w/e, of course!) If I ever have any, I shall do the same but I'll also want to expose them to as many other things as possible too to give them the best chance of finding something they love (even if it's something I don't! Lol)

I wonder what a: "good" and: "bad" hobby is to some people, really. Must be nice to live inside their heads and everything be so clear-cut and simple, huh? facepalm

Definitely, if that person is happy with the way they live and it's not doing anyone else any harm, then it's nobody else's business to tell them otherwise!!!

Indeed, I prefer the dentist too! laugh
Posted by AtsumaKarin on 17 Jun 17 at 13:30