There are only four trophies pertaining to playing online, and they can be taken care of in about 30 minutes. To start, find someone and add them to your friends list.
You'll want to set up a race that only has you two in it. Seaside Hill - Whale Lagoon is a pretty simple track, so you may as well have your race there. Once you've invited your friend to the lobby, set the rules to 3 laps, power-ups on, and catch-up off. You shouldn't have to worry about random people joining your game after the game has been out for so long.
Sit by the first set of item boxes and park yourself inside where one of them spawns. You need to bop enemies with items 100 times online, so have your partner sit there and take the hits until the trophy unlocks. Boosts get in your way and will force you to move from your spot, so you can't stay entirely idle.
The player who has gotten bopped 100 times should now sit in place at the start until the winning player laps them. Once they do, the loser can start to drive to the finish. This will grant the winning player all four online-only trophies, and the loser will get the one for playing with a friend.
Because this has only finished things up for the winning player, you'll obviously have to switch roles with your partner so you can both ignore this mode for the rest of your play time.
Note: To save both of you a little more time, head on over to the Misc Trophies page and see if you can help each other out with some of the tasks on that list.
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