Note: If you jumped straight here, I recommend reading the other pages first. In particular, read about the Slowmo glitch on the Tips and Hints page.
I want to ask you now; what the hell do you expect? This game is a rogue-like FPS. This means that every time you play the floors will be different, the room locations will be different, you'll get different bosses, there will be different items around. I can't walk you through in my usual style, telling you to take door number 1, turn right, and kill enemy number 3. What I will do, is explain the basic concept and principles of each floor. I will give you a sensible and reasonable order to take on these difficult trophies and I will do it in a way that makes logical sense.
Firstly, start up a game on classic as Gorton. He is the best character and someone you'll want to get very accustomed to using. Now enter the first room and get utterly decimated by the enemies within. Now, get used to that feeling. I can tell you to move around, constantly jump, and do sweet spot sickle tricks every paragraph. Issue is, you need to practice it and experience it for yourself before it does you any good. Spend a few hours with the game, learn it, and try to follow what I do to the best of your ability.
Starting with floor 1, the smallest and easiest of all the floors. This floor introduces you to Jimbaahbwehs, rocket turtles, exploding frogs, landsharks and Gileads in addition to whatever bosses you face. In the first few rooms, jump around and attack the enemies. Kill them with whatever techniques you're developing. The first unlock you're likely to get is in one of these first few rooms, when you do one without taking damage:
Unlock 11/45 - Good Start
Good start indeed. Think you can do the whole floor this way? You don't need to enter every room on the floor, just complete the floor without being damaged. This is a good exercise to try now, seeing as how you need to get used to the game anyway. The best boss you can get is Dobee, as you can stand underneath him and attack without him being able to hit you, but none of the first floor bosses are too challenging. With that done, you'll get:
Unlock 12/45 - Untouchable
While bouncing around rooms not taking damage, you may get some shield drops. While using Gorton, you only need to pick up 4 shields in order to surpass his amount of health, which will give you:
Have more armor than health
Unlock 13/45 - Padded
With that one done, move onto the next challenge on the first floor. Restart the game and try to do the floor without jumping. You really should do this now, as eventually you'll get way too used to jumping and do it instinctively. Just run small circles around the edges of the room, throwing the sickle up at enemies. Avoid the mini-boss (blue) door, and go straight for the boss (red) door to end the floor. If you did it without jumping, in the elevator you'll unlock:
Unlock 14/45 - Bottom Feeder
Starting from floor 1 again, you want a very specific room. It's a wide, open room with 4 barrels near the center. Don't charge up your gun or sickle, just simply enter the room. A single landshark will spawn in the center and slide into a barrel, killing it. This will grant you:
Complete a room without attacking
Unlock 15/45 - Pacifist
Now go around and fire your Superweapon. Keep firing and picking up ammo until you get to the point where your ammo reads exactly 0, which will unlock:
Unlock 16/45 - Tyrus
Not bad! That's all that pertains specifically to floor 1. Floor 2 contains a new enemy, the Tenchi. They are fast, green ninjas that go invisible and teleport to you for an attack. When you see once, hit it once with the sickle and move away. When the smoke appears to indicate that it will teleport again, toss the sickle at it as it invisibly moves towards you. Killing it before it reappears earns you:
Unlock 17/45 - Chosen One
The 2nd floor also holds more possibilities. From this point on you can get either a hole floor (a floor that has holes in it) or a dark floor (a very dark floor illuminated only by jellyfish). Hole floors are much easier to manage, as all you have to do is avoid falling into the holes. If you make your way around the outside walls of the room and don't venture into the center of the room, you'll be perfectly fine. If you make it off the floor without falling into the hole, you'll unlock:
Unlock 18/45 - Sure Footing
If you slip up and do fall into a hole, you'll still get:
Unlock 19/45 - Unsure Footing
Dark floors are much harder. Visibility is basically 0, unless you have an Eyepatch. Unfortunately, to unlock the Eyepatch item, you'll need to beat a dark floor first. Survey each room, the bright red of the boss doors stand out against the pitch black room. Once a room is clear, kill the jellyfish within for extra money, shields, or health. Best of luck and hope you don't get this on a later floor. Landsharks are your biggest threat as they are nearly invisible against the floor. Watch for the glowing eyes in the darkness. Completing the darkened rooms unlocks:
Unlock 20/45 - Night Vision
Completing the 2nd floor regardless of extra obstacles unlocks:
Unlock 21/45 - Progress
Onto floor 3. By now you might have a Can of Beans, Blowfish, or other item that has a poison effect. If so, find a boss and whittle down it's health. If not, you can use your Blowfish Gun and have that use its poisonous effects to kill the boss. Let the poison finish it off for:
Unlock 22/45 - Not Even Worth It
Floor 3 introduces some annoying moths, they shoot out 2 white projectiles that will follow you around until they crash into a wall or another enemy. Target them first and run around the edges of the room, trying to force the projectiles to hit the wall or corner beside you.
Floor 4 introduces Skorchers, flaming skulls that do contact damage to you. They're rather fast, so keep jumping around and making your way along the edges of the room, occasionally turning around to throw your sickle into a group of Skorchers following you around. They're very weak and have low HP, so only one good throw should kill them. Completing the 4th floor gets you:
Unlock 23/45 - Nazi Hell
This is where the difficulty spikes up tremendously and where you will die quite a lot. The fifth floor has more enemies, traps, and environmental hazards. The enemies introduced on this floor are the monkeys. The damn monkeys. They are extremely fast and love backing you into corners. If they're faster than you, they can continually do damage to you as they attack you from behind. The only decent strategy is to stay ahead and above them, throwing down the sickle as soon as they drop down in front of you to attack.
Floor 6 is honestly easier than the 5th, especially with Blast Shield. There are goblins that toss bombs around on this floor, and they can damage other enemies as well. Same tactics are applied here, run around the edges of the room and throw your blade around to kill whatever is in the room with you. Completing this floor earns you:
Unlock 24/45 - Nazi Killer
Depending on how much you died and how RNG in the game has been treating you, you may have gotten your 100 Gilead kills by now, unlocking:
Unlock 25/45 - Tough Guy
The 7th floor is extremely hellish. In addition to everything else you've faced so far, Nazis are introduced. They have high HP, are extremely fast, and fire machine guns that can destroy you in barely any time at all. Keep jumping as always, never stay still and never let them predict your movements. Make laps around the room, hitting each Nazi with a sickle throw each time until you've thinned their numbers. Once they're dead, prioritize the remaining threats in the room. The red boss door will always contain Dahlia, a child that spawns in 5 waves of various other enemies. Read more on her in the "Bosses" section. If you're confident in your abilities and amount of health going into this fight, jump and move around the room while focusing on attacking only what Dahlia is spawning in. Make sure to kill everything as quickly as possible, as the framerate here can drop to new depths and lead to a very swift death. With the Skorchers defeated, the process will begin again as she spawns in 2 more Skullitos. Kill the entire cycle again, then focus on finishing off Dahlia. With her defeated, you will unlock:
Unlock 26/45 - Child Abuse
Unlock 27/45 - Twice the Fun
If you want to play it safer, go into the fight with an Ankh or Assault powerup handy. If your damage output is high enough, you can kill her very quickly. Use your powerup and either bounce around the room and get her in the sickle sweet spot or get up close and lay into her while invincible. If you finish the fight in its entirety without taking damage, you'll unlock:
Unlock 28/45 - Too Easy
With Dahlia dead either way, head into the elevator to complete classic mode and attain:
Unlock 29/45 - Victory
Congratulations! Now, let's get into the evils of hardcore mode. Fundamentally, hardcore is exactly the same as classic mode. The big difference is that after a few minutes, a Ghost will spawn on the floor if you're not off it in time. The Ghost can pass through walls and shoot through objects, and he can do a ton of damage with homing projectiles. You don't want to be caught wandering aimlessly, looking for an exit, when a Ghost shows up. The other difference is the existence of the 8th floor, which I will describe in detail at that point. Start up hardcore mode with Gorton again.
Keep an eye out for a room with a huge slot machine in it. Stay away from the mouth and keep hitting the lever. Kill any spiders that spawn from its mouth but don't pick up any coins dropped by it yet. Once your money has entirely been depleted, you'll unlock:
Unlock 30/45 - Addicted
After defeating the first floor boss, wait by the elevator before going in. The Ghost will eventually spawn in and make its way over to you, once it spawns in jump into the elevator before it reaches you. This will earn you:
Unlock 31/45 - Who Ya Gonna Call?
The first time you die, stay on the Restart death screen without hitting anything. After 10 or 15 minutes pass, 2 Ghosts will have spawned in the level, despite you being dead. This will give you:
Unlock 32/45 - Redial
Since hardcore has annoying elements and you probably spent some time on classic, at some point trying to reach the 7th floor again you may have reached 1000 kills on the pathetic creatures that inhabit the first 4 floors, earning you:
Unlock 33/45 - Genocidal
When you reach the 7th floor and once again kill Dahlia, the Ghost will spawn. Clear the remaining enemies in the room as quickly as you can and grab Dahlia's Knife from beside the elevator. With this item, you can now kill that annoying asshole. Check the "Boss" section of the guide on how to properly deal with the Ghost. Once he dies, he drops a key. Now go into the elevator YOU STARTED FROM. Not the one in the Dahlia room, the room with the X on it where you spawned. Getting into that elevator, you will ride up to floor 8 and into hell itself, as well as unlocking:
Unlock 34/45 - There's More?
Floor 8 is essentially a huge "boss rush" floor. Every room contains mini-bosses, usually in multitudes. For example, one room has one Floating Tentacle, one Mothra, Iris and a Nazi. Yeah, that's standard. Some rooms just have 6 huge Jellyfish, others have tons of boss enemies.
Use your jumping skills to maneuver around. You've beaten everything on this floor before, it's just a matter of beating combinations of them together now. This floor has no mini-boss, no shop, and no armory. The only door you seek is the red boss door, which contains our biggest challenge yet. Dahlia is in here yet again, this time alongside Ursula and Gorton. Focus fire on Dahlia, as the returning sickle will damage the other enemies in the room as well. Use whatever power-up you have, both Ankh and Assault being the best options by far. If you have Blast Shield and don't have Kamikaze, spam bombs at Dahlia as your sickle is in the air. This will kill any spiders spawned by Skullito as well as damage the 3 biggest threats in the room. Once one dies, hopefully Ursula, the fight becomes much easier. Focus on Dahlia so that she doesn't spawn in more bosses, but lower Gorton's health as well. As soon as Dahlia dies, the Ghost will spawn again. The elevator won't open until everything in the room is dead, so try to clear it before the Ghost arrives to ruin your life. If you do so successfully, jump into the elevator. As a testament to how luck based this game is, I can state that on more than one occasion I finished this floor with a single scrap of health remaining. Completing hardcore mode unlocks:
Unlock 35/45 - True Victory
You now have a few choices on what you can do. You can either attempt hardcore with every other character or mop up the remaining unlocks on classic. For the time being, let's start with classic. Begin a game with Gorton and do not pick up any items. You can use powerups of course, but no items from bosses or from the shop are allowed. Needless to say, this is immensely challenging. I'd venture into mini-boss rooms that were in my way for a chance at some shield drops, but that's entirely up to you. Keep moving and just get lucky, since you pretty much need floors 6 and 7 to be small, with the red doors being no more than 5 rooms away from your starting position. You should be an adept enough Gorton player by now to be able to pull this off. Always remember to use Ankh or Assault to kill Dahlia, as that fight will drag on due to lack of increased damage in any capacity. Just be persistent, you will eventually unlock:
Unlock 36/45 - Picky Eater
The next 3 require lots of luck and lots of restarting. You need to get a very specific item on the first floor while playing as Dy-No-Mite. Choose him as a character and check the doors. If you don't see a red, yellow, or blue door, restart. If you do, go for it. You need to kill every enemy and get the item drop using the Tenchi Sword Superweapon. Don't drop a single bomb or fire a single grenade. If you run out of ammo before the bosses die, restart. Obviously you're going to want to try to kill multiple enemies with a single slash of the sword, so force things like landsharks to cluster up and make turtles fire rockets at other enemies. Keep this up until you eventually get the Left Hand item. This gives you unlimited Superweapon ammo while taking away your main weapon. Finish off this floor and proceed through the next 3 using only your sword, getting in close and slashing up any bosses or enemies you find. You can pick up any health or damage increasing items to aid you with this. Once you get on the elevator leading up to floor 5, you will unlock:
Unlock 37/45 - Heavy Hitter
With that done, start a new run on classic as Gorton. You're going to want to pick up as many items as you possibly can this time, even things such as Rum or Gaangus' Soul, buying items such as Gum from the shop, etc. You're going to want to accumulate a total of 30 items by the end of the run. Consumable items such as the 3 boxes, Holy Water, or Power of the Gods do not count. This is made much easier by getting Scissors early on and having a pair of Golden Scissors on you. If you come to a floor that has a yellow door, be sure to brave the traps within for the item it contains. Let's use the following scenario; You are on a floor with the standard gift shop, mini-boss, boss, and armory. The Gift Shop has a Magnet, Holy Water, and Mystery Chest for sale. The mini-boss drops a Chainsaw and the boss drops Hanz's Pistol. Purchase the Magnet and Mystery Chest, which contains a Flak Cannon and Spring once opened. Pick up the Spring from the Chest and the Chainsaw from the boss room. Now, use some Dice. This will have changed everything on the floor, where the Holy Water has become Angel Wings, the Flak Cannon from the Chest became a Shell, and the Pistol has become a Blowfish. The 2 weapons in the armory have also changed and could now be items, such as a Powder Keg and Poison Bombs. This means you have now acquired 7 items from a single floor! Also, destroy every barrel you see so that you may get a free Blast Shield. If you are below floor 6 and you get a hole floor, the RNG has smiled upon you. Go through this hole floor without falling in, collecting items from the shop, boss rooms, and wherever else they are about. Once you have swept the floor, drop into the hole. This will put you a floor below, with another opportunity at a minimum of 5 items, and will reset the floor above, giving you a chance at yet another 5 items. With these techniques you still might need to make it to floor 7 to reach 30, my 30th item was actually Dahlia's Knife itself. Once you reach that number, you'll get:
Unlock 38/45 - OP
Next one can be done using one of two items, either a Dingy or a Compass. You don't have the Compass unlocked yet, so feel free to come back to this later. I personally did it using the Dingy. You have to beat the game in under 15 minutes. Thankfully, the Slowmo glitch affects the in-game timer, meaning that using the glitch means you can take 30 minutes of real time. According to my stop watch, I completed the game in about 18 minutes when I unlocked the requirement. If you don't get a Dingy or Compass from the first 2 floors, restart. If you get one (or both) of these items early in the game, just find the red boss room immediately without searching through the entire floor for any reason. After killing Dahlia and entering the elevator, you'll earn:
Unlock 38/45 - Gotta Go Fast
Back to hardcore we go, this time wrapping up the 5 characters we still have to beat this mode with. When playing as Dy-No-Mite, destroy every barrel you see for Blast Shield and bombs. By the 7th or 8th floor, if you didn't pick up Kamikaze or abuse bombs, you should have at least 69 to get you:
Unlock 39/45 - Heh Heh Heh
Go through with each character, getting the sickle as soon as possible. The individual strategies for each character are on the "Characters" page, so here I will detail things to keep an eye out for while going through your run.
If you get a Dingy on floor 1, you'll want to try going into every room. The smaller floors make it much easier to clear every room before the Ghost shows up. I did this as Gilead and it worked out just fine. Grab any items you need to make the journey a bit easier, keep in mind that you'll also need to go into every room on the 8th floor as well. After you clear out every room of every floor and enter the elevator after killing Dahlia, Gorton, and Ursula you will earn:
Unlock 40/45 - Completionist
If you are on the 4th floor and have gotten nothing but trash from the shop, leaving it alone, you might want to try to go the rest of the way without spending money. This means that you can't buy shop items or weapons, nor can you gamble. This one is reliant on luck, as you'll want good drops from bosses. Remember to use Dice if you get bad drops from bosses or an armory, allowing you to sweep through again and collect different items. Collect money even though you won't use it, as having over $1000 on you earns:
Unlock 41/45 - Moneybags
While completing hardcore without spending a dime grants you:
Unlock 42/45 - Frugal
Your last task will be to complete the game on hardcore mode 10 times. You'll already have 6 completions from the primary characters, so use Gorton for your remaining 4. If you weren't lucky enough to get Frugal or Completionist before, go for those specifically now. This should be a breeze for you at this point, so long as the RNG isn't horrible, and within a few hours you should have 4 more hardcore completions and:
Unlock 43/45 - Serious Player
Now all that remains is for you to use any items or weapons that have thus far eluded you. Use the "Items" page to keep track of that. I know that a lot of what I wrote above seems vague, Unfortunately, that's the nature of the game. I can only provide you with enough information to be prepared for what you may encounter, the rest of it comes from your patience, skill, and persistence as a player. All the information you need to succeed is within this walkthrough, so keep at it until you get the right combination of events to achieve success. Once you get the last remaining weapon you will earn:
Unlock 44/45 - One Man Armory
It's not a short game, it's not an easy game, and it's not a pleasant experience. I hope this helps you in a big way, best of luck! Unlocking every other unlock will give you a very invigorating rush of success:
Complete all in-game unlocks
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