- King of PAIN
Get all Trophies in Downtown plus Trill and Grenade-A-Maid
- Affliction Addiction
Get 100,000,000 points in Downtown
- Rodeo Clown
Use Ed to explode 500 barrels in Clown Toss
- Harder Dick's Balls
Get all of Dick's Balls in the Block Party Dumpster without resetting the scene
- Trill
Get PAINful Bullseye Trophy with Scurv Dogg or Hung Lo
- 2 Mill Club
Get "PAIN in the Park" and "D-Town Destruction"
- Ninja pwn
Hit the Target Stuffed Ninja in every Abusement Park mode
- Dude Abides
Use "The Dude" to score 30 Strikes in Bowling
- D-Town Destruction
Get 2,000,000 score in PAINdemonium and Aftermath
- PAIN in the Park
Get 2,000,000 score in Abusement Park and After Hours
- Combo Mambo
Get 15x Combo in PAINdemonium, Aftermath, Block Party and Demolition
- Horsin' a Clown
Take the Clown for a ride on the Roller Coaster
- Glutton
Make 30 "Eat It!" shots in "Call Da Shot"
- Constipated
100th Strike
- PAIN and Mane
Play 100 games of Trauma or Horse
- Attention Spam
Get every type of PAIN (Groin, Head, Arm, Hand, Leg, Foot and Body) combo in PAINdemonium, Aftermath, Block Party and Demolition
- Grenade-A-Maid
Get Exploded 200 times in Downtown Fun With Explosives (single or multiplayer) playing any female character
- Gettin’ Hoff
Use Tuxedo Hoff to get 69 million in any PAINdemonium Mode
- Buzzmonkey
Score 60 Monkeys in Spank the Monkey Painful with Buzz
- Helmet PI
Give the Gladiator a ride in the Sports Car
- Camera Boom
Hit 50 Cameras with Explosions
- Glass Lass
Break 500 panes of glass with any female launchable in Mime Toss
- Blockbuster
Use a tank to blow up the Castle Tower
- Sore Spotting
Find and hit the alien artifact in both PAIN Reunion and Sports Day and the sports trophy in both PROBE and Afterglow
- Secret Santa
Open all the unlocked lockers in PAIN Reunion using Santa
- Handy-Capped
Complete Mad Science! PAINful without grabbing
- Lo Touch
Grab teleporting Hung Lo in PAIN Reunion
- Everyone's a Winner
Get a negative distance on the Anvil Toss in PAINalympics
- It's Full Of Cars
Send the black sedan through the portal in PROBE
- Zoom Raider
Travel through all the secret passages in one run in The Stiffstonian, Knight at the Museum, and Fun With Explosives single player (any difficulty)
- Potty Time
Dive into 3 urinals, experience some FArt, and blow up The Stinker statue in one run in The Stiffstonian
- Monkey-On-Monkey
Earn gold medals in Museum Spank Normal, Hard, and PAINful with Ivan Tojakov
- Bone Smoker
Throw-bomb any large dinosaur skeleton 30 times
- Butter Mousetrap
Mousetrap into the toaster in The Stiffstonian without hitting the ground
- MILF All Knight Long
Complete Mummy I'd Like To Fling without resetting
- Tub Girl
Take the hot tub girl for a ride in the Heiny Mine in Fail Village
- Snow Blown
Shoot through all the Snow Blower Launchers in one run
- Ice Breaker
Break all the ice blocks in one run
- Snow Ride
Grab the snowmobile and take a ride to the top of the Ski Run in Fail Village
- Santa's Package
Bomb Granny with a Throw Present
- 12 Days of Crispness
Find and hit all the green presents in the Ski Area Fun With Explosives