Single Player
Upon reaching the main menu, select Single Star. Now, select Acting Class (choose Newcomer). This will take you into the basic tutorial. You can basically just mash [cn_A] until you have to choose between one of two options. Then, just select one. Press [cn_B] to end the sentence when prompted to do so. Now, you must create your own sentence. Do so. Remember to always make your sentences grammatically correct. After your sentence is said, say no to the Master class and you will unlock your first trophy.
Now, select Career.
Choose Dirty Potter for your first playthrough.
Your 1st battle will be against Jane Blunt.
To receive the golden parrots in her fight, you must:
- Win
- Do at least a 15 damage insult. ("and" is your best friend)
- Use a comeback. (Once the comeback bar is at least ⅓ full, press
to use a comeback whenever it becomes emboldened in the bottom left)
Try to create as long and as good insults as you possibly can because your side goal is to win with over half health.
She isn’t very tough, so once you win, you will unlock:
Assuming you had over half health, you will unlock:
The 2nd battle will be against The Greasy Wizard.
Golden parrots:
- Win
- Have above 15 health when you win
- Get a 2x combo. (Insult the same thing 2 turns in a row. Requires some luck)
During this battle, skip the dialogue as much as possible and go as quickly as possible while also trying to earn the following trophy.
If you use a well made, multilayered combo, then you may have done 30+ damage. If you did you will unlock the following trophy. If not, you will have to deal 35+ damage on the final boss at the end of each career 6 times (so you'll get it at some point).
Also, if you got a long, long combo (using a "..." or two & a bunch of ands/buts) that had insults that made sense, you may have done 55+ damage. This would unlock you the following trophy. If not, then you have 28 more career Roasts to try for it (not counting retries).
Aaaaand cut!Use a 55 points hot burn playing as a Single Star
Assuming you did this quick enough and early enough in the battle, you probably won in under 3:40. This will unlock:
The 3rd battle will be against Marilyn Nomore.
Golden parrots:
- Win
- Win in 8 or less insults. (You are gonna need decent scoring roasts for this one! Use "…" when available to try and get more ands to make really long, good insults)
- Deal 25 damage in one insult. (This helps the other one above. Remember her weakness and combos)
The 4th fight is against Chop Sue E.
Golden parrots:
- Win
- 2x hit (Same as 2 fights ago)
- Use 3 Comebacks. (As soon as you fill up a bar, use it to end your sentence. You’ll need to take a decent bit of damage for this)
There is also an trophy for using 3 comebacks in one single player fight, so once you do so, you will unlock:
The 5th fight is against F Parker, CFO.
Golden parrots:
- Win
- Win with over 35 health (Nuke him with combos)
- Hit him for 35+ damage with one insult (Again… combos!)
Once you beat him, you’ll unlock:
If you got all golden parrots, then you’ll also unlock:
Now, you must repeat this with the other 4 trophy characters!
The golden parrots will always be the same for each fight just with different characters.
The characters that you will be playing are:
Greasy Wizard
Marilyn Nomore
Also, upon getting your 15th parrot in this career, you will unlock the trophy for doing it with 3 characters:
Upon completing your 3rd career, you will unlock the character Wisecrack.
Chop Sue E
Wisecrack
Part of the way through this (the 5th) career, you will unlock:
After beating it:
Also, for beating your 5th career, you will unlock F Parker, CFO.
He will be your 5th career because you need to beat him as himself, and you need 6 characters with 15 golden parrots.
So, upon completing his career with all golden parrots, you will unlock both:
Face OffProve victorious in a battle royale of CFOs
&
Now, all that’s left is winning a cliffhanger and playing 65 online matches.
So, start a match and take your opponent down to as little health as possible, then let them whittle you down. Once you know that they will kill you on the next move, kill them as well. This will create a cliffhanger.
Now, you just have to out-damage your opponent on the next turn. Do more damage in the cliffhanger to win it, then you will unlock:
Online Matchmaking
Now, all you have to do is find a single boosting partner. All that’s left is to play 65 online matches. You don’t even have to win!
Go to Two Stars from the main menu. Then, choose ‘Roast on the Internet’.
You’ll want you and your partner to choose the same map. Now, both of you just need to choose a public match (because you will almost certainly not be grouped up against anyone else).
Whoever goes first, just press 
to end your turn. The other player should then choose 1 grammatically incorrect option to lose 3 health (this will save you a ton of time!). Then, just repeatedly let the timer run out until that player dies. That will be one game completed. Then, you can just choose to rematch.
Repeat 25 times to unlock:
Repeat 65 total times to unlock:
The OneFinish at least 65 scenes online
Congrats on the new shiny plat!
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